Class '53 is now a component of a passing generation. This amazing
togetherness, which started from under an acacia tree in grade one, to the
eagerness of youngness and on into the golden horizon of the old manifest to
contain relationship in comradeship and usefulness.
This was in my thoughts during a week of confinement in the hospital. I was
rushed to emergency for sudden heart attack last April. What came to my mind
was the passing of classmates since the golden re-union. The frequency has been
increasing. It asserted me of my mortality. I reconciled myself with reality
that our last roll call is not far away and resisting the inevitable finds no
soothing alternative. In age we found wisdom and it's fitting to just accept it
gracefully as part of life.
We did show growing weariness after the golden re-union. We seem to run out of
joyful expectation. Even our Butuan group, which demonstrated sturdiness with
ever active enthusiasm is already revealing sign of weathering down. It strikes
me to recall of Class '38 table with empty chairs around in one alumni
homecoming re-union at city gym. There are many empty chairs in our table now
and more each year. In time, we also take our bow as final curtain falls to
climax our story.
We crave to see each other once again. Well, of what is left of us. There is a
suggestion for the abroad people to meet once more. It's not a bad idea. We
surely will miss this time the jovial presence of Leonor Llanos, Max Garcia and
Susing Lazaga. We indeed had so much fun together. I consider myself fortunate
to have shared fond memories of Las Vegas.
In my solitary stay in hospital, my imagination flew wildly free on what has
been and on what was still for me. It felt that I've gone to the end of the
line where self-worth and purpose were no longer defined. It reminded me of
what Julieto Semine told me at the park years ago, that the most painful part
of being old is the absence of importance.
Like many of my 107 classmates, I too have gone a long way. My road was not
also paved easy to walk on. There were set backs and even defeat. But
eventually, I put it all behind and
went on my way with hope and prayer that the next step onward may bring a
little spark in substance and value.
But how many more steps we have left today? It is undeniable that time is
catching up. There is no doubt that desire and eagerness to achieve is still
with us regardless. This is normal. We however should be sensible enough to
allow realism to creep in. Maybe it could be just folly and fancy of the old
whose mind refuses to yield.
I always maintain a premise that the next generation is smarter than the last.
We laboured to teach and equipped our offspring well with expectation that
their world is more challenging than ours. We did our share. The work is done
and what is unfinished is already in their hands. In this I put my trust that
they'll do it ably good.
Our worry should not be in the future. It is the wellbeing of senior citizens
in today's generation that we should be concerned. Dark cloud is already
starting to hover and worst is yet to come.
The retirement of eighty six million people in North America (U.S. and Canada)
as effect from the now aging Baby Boomers bring tremendous load on government
program for seniors. It could fracture the social apparatus for the elderly to
live and to die decently. Even now that only the tip of the scale is emerged
into the structure, it already showed signs of weakening the entitlement
mechanism for old people.
This indeed saddens me for the program on seniors we started nine years ago
here may encounter serious predicament when entitlement and grants from the
government are cut short. So far so good, though we already feel a little
modification on these benefits. We don't know how far it goes, but we are sure
that it will not be fine and dandy in a long run.
Accepting reality of old age as I contemplated in the hospital was not an easy
feeling to swallow. There were nostalgic thoughts from younger experiences and
fear of what was to come. I lost confidence on my capacity to fulfill and even
doubted my decision as sound and correct. I dreaded the time of becoming
unimportant and afraid to think of being ignored. I could not possibly live
without responsibility and the moment old age take it away; I certainly wish
the bell tolls for me.
Submit comments via the Discussion Board at:
http://www.butuanon.org/yabb/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.cgi?board=Essays
